The hungry, disheveled woman from Beauty & the Beast. Ugh, I bet they don't even call it "Halloween" anymore; they'll probably call it "Orange Day". We collectively are raising a generation of bubble-wrapped children who dissolve into an amalgam of disoriented terror with the slightest sensation of wind. So let's revisit Halloweens from … [Read more...]
Avocado Toast of the Month
What Food Pyramid? ^I am not worthy. L'estudio's Avocado, soft boiled egg, pumpkin seed spread, with arepas … [Read more...]
An Adult Happy Meal is a Sad Meal
A case against the eternal damnation of chicken nuggets While no disappointment in my life will be quite as grave as the incorrect valuation of Beanie Babies, the disappearance of complimentary toys with meals starkly marks when dining went from Happy to Sad. What we lost in the sophistication of a plastic Chicken McNugget wearing a cowboy hat, … [Read more...]
Avocado Toast of the Month
What Food Pyramid? a ^I'm not crying, you're crying. a Bluestone Lane's Avocado Smash with tahini, heirloom cherry tomatoes, feta, sunflower sprouts, e.v.o.o. and bacon. … [Read more...]
Mad Libs: Attempted Adulthood
The game where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are kinda like Canada. Seamless Order: 2:17am. Order placed at [Times Square Restaurant Chain]: [Your jersey number in popwarner] orders of [the first thing in Tupperware you see in your work fridge], [number of times you can juggle a soccer ball] sides of … [Read more...]
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