There’s a special place in hell for people who circle the items in I Spy.
Let us take a quick trip back to a memory most should have: when you were 6 years old and decided to throw up your scrambled eggs during breakfast so you didn’t have to take your spelling test that afternoon, your parents had to take off work to bring you to the pediatrician’s office which was always a total shit-show, and to kill time in the waiting room, you were trying to find a thimble somewhere in the two page spread that can best be described as a demonic assortment of surgical tools from SAW and the accessories from a RuPaul’s Drag Race. ^ feel free to borrow this childhood trauma to explain your disturbing Google search history
We won’t talk about how our parents are literal heroes for not absolutely losing their minds every time we ruined their day with a “stomach” ache, but instead we’ll revisit the power of I Spy. Best known as the literary form of adderall, it had a spell binding effect on even the most violently energetic children. But its long standing message is that even in the most grim, seemingly boring (tell me what’s sexy about an assortment of button) situations, there’s always weird stuff to find…you just have to look. Because I have the attention of a squirrel whose on a steady IV drip of Mountain Dew, I make my life into a glorified scavenger hunt so here are a few things in New York that so you should also hunt for: