7 Grain Army in Williamsburg
I’ll just come out and say it – muffins are the most disrespected food out there. They’re constantly jeered at as ugly cupcakes, ordering one often evokes a judgmental side eye from health conscious folk who view the poor pastry as a shameless excuse to eat more cake, and don’t even get me started about the smear campaign around muffin bottoms. And while we’re at it – first of all, negative conversations around our bodies should be outlawed, but muffin tops? It is absolutely not a muffin’s fault that any post-pubescence individuals are still squeezing their bodies into low rise jeans, like unfortunate sausage casings. Grow up and wear high rise, leave Laguna Beach fashion aspirations in 2004 where they belong or leave muffins out of it.
Well there’s an insane bakery in Williamsburg that is single-handedly changing the muffin game and pumping out the best breakfast sandwiches I’ve had in a long time. The most unbelievable thing about all the food: it’s dairy-free, gluten-free, refined sugar-free, and there are vegan and vegetarian options. And no, it’s not a hologram and you’re not filter feeding bakery fumes.
The previous owner and chef at the former beloved Bed-Stuy spot Scratchbread has worked his magic again with 7 Grain Army, a gluten-free bakery focusing on whole-grains, seeds, and probiotics. It started with his similar disdain of how muffins have been callously disregarded and his vision to make the muffin a smart, delicious, and healthy breakfast choice. The menu extends far beyond muffins though, to breakfast tacos, snack plates, granola, sandwiches, breads, and more. With a sultry instagram and killer google reviews, it was a no brainer to go, so my friend Dana and I went, ordered enough food to feed eight, and later both deeply regretted not ordering multiple lemon muffins for later. What we got and my overly dramatic rankings:
Egg Sandwich – Medium boiled egg, green chili (hot), smoked almond romesco, avocado, and shaved kale on toasted corn-fonio bread
Like pesto, anything you put romesco on is immediately elevated. Also THE BREAD ON THIS SANDWICH IS F*ING CORNBREAD. WHY IS NO ONE ELSE DOING THIS. 10/10.
Salmon Sandwich – Roasted organic salmon with green peppercorns, dijon & dill lightly tossed with sunflower tahini, Sicilian capers, lemon and fresh horseradish with pickled onions and cabbage slaw on toasted gf cornbread
TOASTED CORNBREAD, SALMON SALAD, TAHINI: this is the holy trinity no one is talking about. I actually cannot with this cornbread. 11/10.
Lemon Millet MuFin – coconut yogurt, lemon zest, toasted millet, and eggs
This muffin top is, one of the best things I’ve eaten in a long time. The perfect amount of icing, the added texture with the millet, then just whatever this muffin is made with is outstanding. I would marry this muffin. 12/10.
Carrot Quinoa MuFin – Organic carrots, red quinoa, and ginger
This is just an excellent muffin. Perfect amount of ginger to add some dimension, not as light as the lemon muffin but you want some of that dense carrot cake body with a carrot muffin. Would happily eat this muffin every day. 10/10.
Corn MuFin -Anson Mills Roasted Corn flour, coconut yogurt, fonio crunch, and eggs
Now that we’ve established my uninhibited passion for cornbread, it should come as a surprise to no one that corn muffins get me hot and bothered too. Corn muffins can skew on the dry side, but this one is perfectly moist with the right amount of sugar to balance the corn, all thanks to that coconut yogurt. 11/10.
^ 30 hours later, we were still thinking about the muffins.
You can go in-person, order directly from the store for pickup, or order delivery with grubhub.