♬It’s a Beautiful Day in This Neighborhood♬

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Two Bridges Trollin' To be in sales, you have to believe in what you're selling. *Heavy Disclaimer* I have believed in Mermaids, Wizards, Murderers living in the woods behind my old house, a few ex boyfriends, and in serving sizes - all of which turned out to be disappointments. As a more seasoned adult, I strongly believe in Chinatown and Two … [Read more...]

Fruit on the Bottom, Threat on Top!

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The Unintentional Biological Warfare of Stealing from the Office Fridge My second day at Douglas Elliman, someone ate 8 figs out of my container of 10 organic figs. Clearly I was more upset than my post-it led the perpetrator to believe:  I'm sorry, fridge theft is in fact a form of terrorism that was not discussed by either candidate in the … [Read more...]

This Month’s Mythical-Not-Fifth-Floor-Walkup-Place to Live

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An Ultra-Green Home in Sandhornøya, Northern Norway Like every normal family, some members of the Lawton clan are extremely well prepared for potential scenarios that would require surviving and sustaining oneself off of 500 pre-purchased cans of tuna or an inherent knowledge of how not to die when violently stripped of the security blanket … [Read more...]

Down the Rabbit Hole

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^ apologizes for this hauntingly terrible DIY photoshop job a So Black Holes aren't really a situation society has been prepared for. While Cape Cod has the most inefficient evacuation route (2 two-lane bridges flanked by traffic circles from hell) at least we've been briefed on said-evacuation-plan. I've seen the Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's … [Read more...]