*goes into restoration hardware and starts rubbing lamps*

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*~* POOF *~* Princess Jasmine's Castle in Aladdin plopped in TriBeCa a 2 Park Place, Apt 31A - 4 bedroom, 4 bathroom Condo in TriBeCa Price: $26,400,000 What you're getting: This magnificent home offers a private elevator entry, solid oak herringbone floors, over 10 ceilings with exposures in every direction, two private terraces totaling … [Read more...]

These are a few of my Favorite Things

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A Fine Culinary Review of Five Arepas from Caracas ^ As American as I claim to be, I wasn't about this gluttonous nonsense so I called in reinforcements  My first apartment in New York was located on the killer block of 9th street, between First Avenue and Avenue A.  I had no idea that I was descending into a food mecca until after my cousin … [Read more...]

Encyclopedia Britannica: 2000’s

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How Historians Will Reflect Upon Our Generation Disclaimer: the below is written under the assumption that the overwhelming majority of the female population did not, in fact, die off following the-collective-"her" stating, "I'm Dying."  a The year is 3017. While in 1st grade I was nose deep in a Berenstain Bear book learning morals from animals … [Read more...]

I’m the king of the world, on a boat like Leo

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If you're on the shore, then you're sho' not me-oh Let's quickly recap a few popular representations of what it's like to live on a boat: Noah's Arc - Some guy built an arc, herded a bunch of animals on board and let all his friends die as he enjoyed a zoo cruise alone with his wife. The movie Waterworld - I've tried to black this out of my … [Read more...]