A - dot - Hamilton. I handle the American Revolution like 13 year old girls handle Vampire Romance Novels...meaning I literally can't.  I know I'm not alone in that sentiment because I have a very close friend who has willingly made these her profile pictures: While the 4th of July get's muddied by the hot dog and beer slamming acts of phony … [Read more...]

What this gentle giant has been up to... This summer, there will be a lot Samantha's, Jessica's, Rachel's, Emily's and Mary Lee's making the annual pilgrimage to the land where people trot on horses named Sir Edward McCullen; waving your credit card in the air three times in a row magically turns you into Paris Hilton; and during the Great Rosé … [Read more...]

Pour one out to the Founding Fathers. For a solid four years of my life, when I grew up I wanted to be a Historical Reenactor at Plymouth Plantation. My parents humored this until it clearly wasn't a phase, then I got kindly ushered to the Sciences, with a pit stop in Broadway Theater and a brief stint as President. The kind folk they are, they … [Read more...]

Rub-a-dub-dub, hundreds of Adult Strangers in a Tub. A self proclaimed East Village Lurkness Monster, I've passed the peculiar Russian & Turkish Baths hundreds of times on my walk down 10th Street to and from Tompkins Square Bagel, and while curious, I rationalize spending my money on fancy mashed avocados instead, as my imagination has me … [Read more...]

Up next, a Lazy River through the Gowanus Canal. Future New York City headline: A shortage of Hep C and Tetanus vaccines cripples the city as massive numbers of 20-somethings contract E.Coli and develop Alex-Mack-like super powers. Just another thing to blame our children's mutations on, in addition to Monster Energy consumption and residual Easy … [Read more...]