Cooking 101

He was the coolest person I’ve ever met: he brushed elbows with legends, held office, fought in WWII, was a stand-up comedian, was an extremely influential judge on many different court circuits, to this day holds the unofficial title of the Best Storyteller of Forever, and somehow survived fathering my dad and his four slightly rambunctious brothers. He also is accredited as to why I love eggs.

Growing up, every Easter my cousins and I would partake in an egg hunt.  These plastic eggs hidden all over the backyard usually had jelly beans, peeps, M&M’s, and pogs hidden in them but my grandfather changed the game up. There were only as many blue eggs as there were grandchildren and those contained crisp one hundred dollar bills. It was like the goddamn Hunger Games trying to find those eggs – do you know the damage a kid could do at a penny candy or comic book store in the early 90s with $100? It was basically like if Pixar got a hold of the Wolf of Wall Street Script and made it PG.  I think one year I spent it on a real rabbit fur satchel from Plymouth Plantation. Anyway I clearly am way off course from where I started, EGGS…love them, they’re kind of the only thing I can cook, so here’s to being the most badass one trick pony in the game. I know that it’s almost impossible to mess up eggs, but if you can crush them, you are a God.