“Breakfast Sommelier”
^Me on Linkedin vs. ^Me in real life
Title applying for: Breakfast Sommelier
Salary + Benefits requested:
- Whatever Gordon Ramsey shows on his tax returns, we’re going to need to match that
- 401K matching; full health and dental (things you learn when you’re an adult: teeth cleanings cost $200 a pop); a private amazon prime locker; an adult babysitter/maid who will keep my life in order, mainly match my socks and get my duvet inside of my duvet cover; immunity against uber ratings lower than 5.0
Applicable Skill Set:
- I eat 4-6 eggs every morning and to anyone who gets in my way, I calmly tell them “my stomach is filled with eggs” and then they realize I am not a woman to contend with and they quickly concede
- My food choices abide by the perfect ratio of superficiality – 75% because it looks cool and 25% because I could be the first of my network to post about it
- Excels at filtering Yolk mid-drip
- Only does box jumps at the gym to get ready for impromptu aerial food shots
What you your bring to the position:
- As a true expert of my craft, I would enforce that all breakfast foods consumed under my tutelage be photogenic and contain no less than two whole avocados
- I understand every last crumb is at risk for being photographed, and even when that’s not the case, the pinnacle of Instagram-able food is an achievement greater than producing an Ivy League bound child
- For the good of mankind, breakfast buffets would be banned. They are dangerous in exactly the opposite way of a loaded gun. One minute you’re covering a kilo of cholesterol in butter and syrup; next thing you know, it’s 7 hours later, they’re switching to the dinner buffet, you have a plate of lemon piccata chicken in your hand and are in line at the ham carving station
References:
- My parents, who are rational people and have an avocado toast station in our house, complete with olive oil drizzle and chili flakes
- The griddle chef at B&H dairy, who calls me Princess and knows not to put onions in my lox omelet
- My college cross-country coach, who can attest to my tenacity as I turned the most non-contact sport into UFC on foot
Portfolio: Please see below for my recent work
![](https://lizlawton.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/FullSizeRender-_37_-300x300.png)
Upstate‘s Seared Diver Scallops on mushroom risotto
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![](https://lizlawton.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/IMG_5681-300x300.jpg)
The Wayland‘s Milk & Honey featuring burrata, unfiltered extra virgin olive oil, raw honey, smoked pepper and sea salt
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![](https://lizlawton.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/IMG_5665-300x300.jpg)
Mimi‘s Artic Char Tartare (say that 5 times fast) with wild strawberries, caviar, and creme fraiche
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![](https://lizlawton.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/IMG_5453-300x300.jpg)
Little Collins‘ super underrated Roasted Chicken and Squash Salad with lentils, arugula, yogurt and sumac…and a fried egg
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![](https://lizlawton.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/FullSizeRender-_42_-300x223.jpg)
Seamore’s Shrimp and Short Rib Taco with potato puree, chimichurri, and roasted garlic aioli
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![](https://lizlawton.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/IMG_5888-300x300.jpg)
Dimes Deli’s Spring Salad with market greens, zucchini ribbons, cucumber, feta, mint, and basil vinaigrette
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![](https://lizlawton.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/FullSizeRender-300x292.jpg)
Jajaja‘s Vegan “Chorizo” Burrito with whatever magic they do to make this dietary bomb vegan and presumably healthy (?)
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![](https://lizlawton.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/IMG_5889-300x300.jpg)
El Rey‘s Kale Salad with almond vinaigrette, a pickled egg, avocado, and chilled diablo chicken
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![](https://lizlawton.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/FullSizeRender-_41_-300x295.jpg)
Sunday in Brooklyn‘s Grain Bowl with toasted barley, spicy vegetables, kale, egg, avocado, sambal and black cod
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![](https://lizlawton.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/FullSizeRender-_49_-300x287.jpg)
The Spaniard‘s Sausage, Egg & Cheese with a biscuit, sage sausage, scrambled eggs, and pickled jalapeño