A – Astrological signs and how they’re used to justify character flaws and put a bandaid on our personal demons
B – Burning Man, which I would love to have explained to me as well
C – Crypto and why it took so long for people to realize it was just one big pyramid scheme
D – Why Dogs and men from affluent Connecticut suburbs have the same names
E – How we went straight from Encyclopedia Brittanica to Google, no in between
F – Don’t ask a woman you don’t know extremely well if she’s thinking about Freezing her eggs
G – The Government threats at the beginning of VHS tapes
H – Our Housing crisis and why we’re building more pickleball courts instead of affordable housing
I – We’re more afraid of the IRS than we are of you
J – January everyone stops drinking for the month and will tell you of their enviable piousness every chance they get
K – The Knicks are a perpetually doomed franchise, it makes no sense so let’s move on
L – Leonardo DiCaprio is the most sought after man but also everything that is wrong with men
M – Mapquest and how we once traveled like 15th century explorers with 14 pages of printed directions
N – Even if you like Nickelback, under no circumstance do you admit it
O – Why ‘The Office’ will be playing on a continual loop at every nursing home once Millennials are elders
P – Pokemon Go, a fever dream VR campaign that involved capturing cartoon creatures, was the most successful mobilization to date of our deeply sedentary society
Q – Despite all the advancements in e-commerce, a large part of our population still shops on QVC
R – The Run on toilet paper of 2020
S – the Sexy Covid Nurse costume, which is bound to pop up at frat parties across the country in the 2030s once we’ve repressed the traumas of the 2020s
T – Tide Pods, why we used to eat them, why we don’t any more, and how they’ve always been exclusively meant for laundry
U – Boomers who Unplug the computer when they want to turn it off
V – Saying “Voldemort” will trigger anyone over the age of 27
W – Weddings and why we willingly spend the GDP of a small middle eastern country to legally bind two people together
X – Know that if you’re speaking to a man, he’s probably thinking about Xerxes and the battle of Thermopylae instead of listening to you
Y – Yogurt and why people eat it when it does absolutely nothing to fill you up
Z – We give Zero shits if you burn fossil fuels but if you are seen using a plastic straw…