The Real Estate Version of the Tchotchkes Section in Goodwill
Scroll through any luxury real estate listings and you’ll find yourself waterboarded by Miele appliances, elegant marble backsplashes that seamlessly cascade into sleek countertop slabs, thick reclaimed white oak flooring laid out in intoxicatingly endless herringbone, an an overall chic minimalist design palette, oozing that unattainable element of pure opulence.
Hopefully that’s not your thing because welcome to my real estate newsletter. Name of the game is the more unadulterated chaos in a listing, the better. Hoarder’s den where there seems to be an acute fascination with Cabbage Patch Kid Dolls? When can we get in. Mirrors on every ceiling and haphazardly placed sex swings? Will the seller be present and can we please conduct a Q & A. Someone was murdered in the basement? Extra points if it’s still an active investigation scene. While you stumble upon the aforementioned more seldom, what never fails to be a trip is my favorite: a good old-fashioned estate sale.
I firmly stand by the statement “Townhouses are the best properties you can tour in New York City” and the pristinely kept, vintage funhouse that is 35 Prospect Place upheld this bold declaration. This 3,000 square foot, four-story, Victorian was built in 1901 and served as the home to an older gentleman, who lived alone in the space for 50 years. In his design of the home, the concept was to express a different part of his personality in every room. While in dire need of some fundamental renovations and there’s no denying the basement looks like it belongs in a SAW movie, find solace in that for every polished new development where the farmhouse sink is the cheekiest detail of the entire home, there are still some quirky Wes Anderson fever dreams lurking behind the sandstone facades of some of the city’s oldest buildings.