A Fine Culinary Review of Five Arepas from Caracas
^ As American as I claim to be, I wasn’t about this gluttonous nonsense so I called in reinforcements
My first apartment in New York was located on the killer block of 9th street, between First Avenue and Avenue A. I had no idea that I was descending into a food mecca until after my cousin Molly asked for my new address, she immediately responded, “Holy Shit, you’re two blocks from Caracas.” For some back story, the Lawton’s weren’t necessarily adventurous eaters during my developmental years. Example, I went through a year of my life where I literally only ate Ramen…in retrospect, I had similar 6-12 month phases with Special K, Good & Plenty (I know it’s the hallmark disgusting candy, but jokes on you, I never have to share) and it can be argued that I’m deep in the trenches of a violent and strong love affair with avocados. But long story short, I was culinarily sheltered in a cocoon of Shepard’s Pie, grilled chicken, steak and *blessed* tater tots (thnx mom).
So in googling Caracas, I realized I had no idea what the hell an arepa was. To update everyone else who considers choosing the Alfredo Annie’s Macaroni and Cheese an adventurous dietary choice, an arepa is a Venezuelan corn pocket, stuffed with savory fillings. So of course after trying Caracas, it became an out of control obsession, which I was ordering 6 times a week. An arepa takes about 5 minutes to prepare so I had my call during the walk from the Astor Place 6 stop timed out perfectly so that I would arrive just as my arepa(s) was being lovingly wrapped. You know there’s something gravely wrong when the Venezuelan gentleman on the other end of the call recognizes your rapid fire, heavy breathing “Hello” and instantly predicts what you’re going to order, even remembering to hold the jalapeños. I do understand that I should be ashamed of this. That’s why I took a two year hiatus from Caracas, but now we’re coming back with a vengeance.
I am not Guy Fieri. I really hope this isn’t news to anyone. To this point, I cannot eat five arepas by myself. I completed that feat only once, many Santacon’s ago when I may have enjoyed the holiday a bit more enthusiastically than I should have, and those five arepas sat in me like a third trimester fetus. So this time around, I called upon my fearless Polar Bear Plunge Squad for reinforcements/adjacent stomachs so we could give you a fair assessment of the situation. Each had to review then additionally relate her Arepa to a male celebrity. So off we go:
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De Pabellon – shredded beef, black beans, white salty cheese and sweet plantains
Dana Kaplan’s commentary:
“Not to bring it back to my life heroes, but you know how you’ll watch Jessica Biel stare at Justin Timberlake and you’ll completely see how she respects his dance abilities, humor, and parenting skills all while wanting to mount him b/c he’s sexy AF? That’s how I feel about the de pabellion: the combination of the shredded beef, white cheese and plantains together with that yellow sauce (that’s obviously descended from the gods). Each ingredient on it’s own would be great. But together? Plus the presentation and simplicity to top it off? Sign me up JT, again and again. Except I’m not going to mount an arepa no matter how bad the NYC dating scene may be.”
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Los Muchachos – grilled pork sausage, spicy white cheese, with jalapeños and sauteed peppers
Melissa Shafer’s remarks:
“Aptly named “Los Muchachos,” this arepa packs the heat with is spicy pork sausages, jalapenos and peppers. Throw on the ‘special’ sauce and you’ve got the man of your lunch dreams. So which male celebrity, you ask?Definitely Joe Manganiello. Because Sofia Vergara would be equally proud of this chorizo.”
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La Mulata – grilled white cheese with black beans, sauteed red peppers and fried sweet plantains
Liz’s Modern Romance:
“Cheese. Aged, grilled, soft, hard, melted, squeaky, cottage. Orange powder to truffle creme de brie; an ageless medium, a timeless love. At a first glance at the menu, the La Mulata isn’t the sexiest, the boldest, or the most exotic arepa. It’s not working it’s pecs with a pork sausage or doing 7,000 reps of bicep curls with some pork shoulder or slicking back it’s hair with a homemade herb mayo. It’s star is a hunk of white cheese, perfectly grilled so the warmth of it’s soul is encased with an aromatic golden shell. This arepa is simple but knows how to deliver, blowing your expectations out of the water and setting the bar for others to follow.
If my arepa was one male celebrity, it would be a young Clint Eastwood. Simple but strong; rustic but handsome; no frills but clean cut; someone you could enjoy for a whoooleee lifetime.”
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La Surena – grilled chicken, hearty pork sausage, with avocado slices and the classic, spicy chimi-churri sauce
Jess Snider-Rodriguez’s reflections:
“There was a lot stuffed in there. It was filling and delicious with diverse flavors. The sauce gave it a bit of a kick but….It. Was. Missing. Cheese. I was extremely envious of everyone else’s arepas with cheese. I also get super sad when I get to the bottom of an arepa because the fillings are long gone. However, this is remedied with ample yellow sauce. It made me feel full, happy and wanting more…thattt was inadvertently sexual.
Macaulay Cullin. He was the all America, celebrity child who got lost multiple times by his delinquent parents. MC now, v alternative hipster, possibly into drugs who is unrecognizable from his innocent childhood. Like MC, this arepa has that basic innocent seeming chicken but then you get a spicy, questionably haunting, suprise.”
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Tostones Mochimeros – fried green plantains topped with mojito mayo, a squeeze of lemon and white cheese
So strangely enough, a really good friend from college, Caroline Rivero and her friend Kathi, were a table next to us so they got roped into the madness:
“As the sweet yet salty taste of the tender Tostones Mochimeros touched my lips, I knew it was love at first bite. The crispy, firm texture of the plantains combined with the soft, creamy cheese and the zest of the mojito mayo…it all had me trembling and knowing that I would be coming back for more.
(Another vote for…) Joe Manganiello; Exhibits a strong, firm and forceful exterior, but once you bite in, it’s nothing but an intense, sweet and satisfying center.”
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Soooo this exercise digressed pretty rapidly.
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!!! fun facts !!!
1. Venezuela is v blessed: it has oceans, mountains, rivers, deserts, grasslands, canyons and forests. It is considered one of the seventeen mega-diverse countries that contain most of earth’s species.
3. Plantains are technically a berry; they’re also extremely versatile, as you can treat them like fruits or vegetables and use them at every stage of ripeness.
4. Joe Manganiello was in both Magic Mike movies and birthed this amazing scene.
5. The very first arepas were created by indigenous women who would chew the corn up, then put the masticated corn onto a plate to form a paste/dough, which was later cooked in circled forms on ceramic dishes.
