The History of the Rainforest Cafe, in Memoriam of the Last Tristate Rainforest Cafe Closing
^ Also, this inside of my mind at any given time
The Victorian Era had opulent parlors for sophisticated conversations over a cigar and brandy, Prohibition is remembered for the sex appeal of liquor-fueled clandestine convergences, the 1950s are often depicted with the romantic Americana of a wholesome diner with a jukebox machine and adjacent drive-in theater, and the 80s is honestly just that paralyzingly uncomfortable jazzercise scene from Perfect on repeat. As I look back on my growingly distant childhood with more appreciation for how the past gets generalized by a few defining aspects, I’m realizing the 90s aesthetic is being remembered for massive TVs housed in elaborate wooden entertainment centers, blow up furniture, canopy beds, and the utter perfection that was the Rainforest Cafe franchise.
No surprise here, I am still obsessed with the Rainforest Cafe. What the restaurant admittedly lacks in quality of food makes up for it with animatronic animals, constant thunderstorms that make having a meaningful conversation challenging, and fog machines that leave you not-not worried than an electrical fire has started from under the dense forestation covering the entire restaurant that definitely violates every health and safety code. Truly where is their Michelin Star for vibes?
Sadly, people don’t care about theme restaurants anymore. They want a moody picture of an artistically plated dish, not to get sprayed by a unidentified mist coming from the ceiling while you, your guests, and your tablescape bathe in the violent LED lighting from a colossal fish tank next to you. There’s only 23 Rainforest Cafes left in the world, 16 in the United States, all soon to follow Planet Hollywood to extinction. A true icon of the 90s is quietly flaming out.
But how did this franchise come to be?! For the most *unhinged* article I’ve read in a while, the ridiculous and almost unbelievable story about the man behind the Rainforest Cafe. An excerpt to lure you in:
“The entrepreneur sold nearly everything he owned and began to build a man-made rainforest inside of his 3k-square-foot home in a quiet suburb outside of Minneapolis. This entailed, among other things:
- Boulders and rocks constructed out of concrete
- A giant waterfall cascading into a river that snaked through the house and emptied into the backyard
- Black-painted walls covered in vines and tropical plants
- 3.7k extension cords to power gas generators, electric heaters, water pumps, and 20 sound systems
- Two 600-gallon fish tanks filled with tropical fish
- Fog and mist machines
- A 12-foot neon sign that read “Paradise”
- A greenhouse full of butterflies
- More than a dozen life-size animatronic creatures, including alligators, gorillas, and an elephant
- 40 tropical birds, two 150-pound tortoises, iguanas, and a baboon that roamed freely around the house
- A fully stocked replica of a retail store with T-shirts, stuffed animals, and other merchandise for sale
Schussler says his electric bill was so high – $2k per month – that DEA officers showed up at his door, suspecting a weed-growing operation. The humidity destroyed his wallpaper, the gas company shut off his service, and neighbors constantly complained. The project pushed him to the brink of sanity and financial means. Building the project took three years and cost Schussler $400k – his entire life savings.
Please read this immediately – your adventure awaits you.