As probably assumed, I’m v much into the simple, clean cut and zen aesthetic.
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Congratulations, you’ve drawn the largest bank certified checks of your life, handed a massive chunk/your entire savings account over to a shadowy figure lurking behind the anonymity of an LLC, and in exchange, received the keys to your cubbyhole in the clouds.
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*ring ring*
“hey mom…soooo what do I do now?”
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Ah, Adulting rears her ugly head yet again. While I wish this was like The Sims and you could kill off everyone (by drowning them in the bathtub or setting them on fire, please don’t act like you were above this satanic savagery), bulldoze the property, tap into the Rosebud!;!;!;!; cheat, and fund your Richie Rich Mansion with 11 hot-tubs; it’s not. There are actual adult things you should do in order to make a.) your life easier b.) your apartment livable c.) protect yourself d.) make yourself a legal occupant. Since I recently went through this Vitamix of Hell myself, let’s all learn from my mistakes and save yourself undue crippling anxiety.
^First, set your priorities…and your table.
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But serious, I’m sympathetic to everyone in this horrifyingly maddening period of time. I gave myself hives for two weeks straight and survived just fine so please don’t get as anxious as me.
THE PRIORITIES
Con Ed – Con Ed covers your cooking gas and electricity, which you and mostly every renter in NYC is responsible for (as heat and hot water are more often than not included in your rent). Go online and set up your service to begin on your lease start date so that your legal occupancy is covered.
Time Warner – Time Warner is most likely your internet and cable provider. Give them a ring if you chose to have one or both….or if you plan to go the Amish route, don’t call them. Every building in New York is wired for Time Warner; most are not set up for Verizon. For the chosen few who have Verzion, continue to gawk at us peasants and you can google “Verzion” yourself on your reliable connection.
United States Postal Service – If you’re currently living in the city and switching addresses, you’ll need to actually file for a change of address at the USPS so they can forward your mail from your previous home. It takes about 2 weeks for your mail to get actively forwarded so do this as soon as you can – it’s quite easy online. Also, they send you a BUNCH of actually useful (from a new home perspective) coupons; who doesn’t love a 20% off a Bed, Bath & Beyond that magically can’t expire?
The Department of Motor Vehicles – ugh the DMV…just typing this gives me PTSD to the three times I failed my driving test. But beyond that. You should most likely change your license to reflect your new address because that is a Responsible, Adult Thing to do. Your parents would be proud. They also give you a ton of killer coupons – who says the government isn’t watching out for us?! Please ask me how many Lowe’s coupons I have in my wallet right now.
Your local Liquor Store – Biggest hidden secret in New York City: you can go to your local liquor store and ask for empty liquor boxes and they’ll give you whatever you want for packing up your belongings. These things are heavy duty, free99 and decently large. Only downside: after you pack, you will 100% look like an alcoholic. When Andre was moving my 12 boxes of Maker’s Mark, 4 boxes of Dewer’s and 2 boxes of Grey Goose, he point blank asked me, “Girl, how much do you like to party?” I think I tried to play it cool but ended up tripping over my words and saying something awkward, which digressed into stuttering about going to sleep at 9pm the night before, after which I faded into the Drake song playing in the background and hoped my shoulder dancing would erase the prior 20 second interaction.
THE RECOMMENDED
A Solid Handyman who doubles as a great mover – I used Andre as a task rabbit for moving and he was wonderful – he assembles things, moves things, delivers things, ect. For my move, he arrived with a friend and their giant van, and transported everything from point A to point B in an hour and half, while letting me sit in the front of the van the entire time and play trap music while making sure we didn’t get hit by the M8 bus. They were hilarious yet so respectful and put up with me…being me. All for $80 an hour. Use this code and we both get $20 off our next Task Rabbit – PLEASE HELP ME PAY FOR ANDRE TO BUILD MY FURNITURE.
Homeowner’s insurance – So homeowner’s insurance only ends up being a few hundred dollars a year but it’s 100% worth it. It protects everything in your apartment and also on your person (I got mugged in Chicago once and was covered strangely enough). In the very tragic instance of the East Village fire a few years back, it protected and payed for the lost belongings of those tenants who were insured. Landlords don’t require it, but they definitely encourage it and for a legitimate reason. If something occurs to your apartment – be it fire, theft, flooding, ect. – the landlord is never responsible, you are.
NYCId: I wrote a blog post about this as it was in my newsletter recently but if you like museums/want to get a Citibike/enjoy free things *everyone’s ears perk up*, you should sign up for the NYCId once you have an NYC license. The discounts on cultural experiences and other strange promotions are definitely worth the tiny inconvenience of waiting in the security line at the Centre Street Court House.
Cover your entire apartment in lego surface – or buy life-sized legos to make a lego dividable wall. Again, these are only strong recommendations.