What should I have saved in order to buy a property in NYC? For anyone who works with me, know that I get more emotionally invested in the transaction than you. If you're not sleeping, I'm not sleeping. If you're upset about losing out on something, I'm blasting emo rage music whilst penning some angsty diatribe to an impotent co-broker. If … [Read more...]
Under a Buck and a Quarter
What’s Rick Lawton been up to?
Neglecting a grocery list and buying what he has deemed as necessities ^ he was sent to get "beach snacks for the afternoon" and comes home with two boxes of pre-cooked bacon and a quarter pound of roasted garlic marinated in olive oil … [Read more...]
Your Mother, who wants grandchildren, on the phone with you before a date or You Spin Instructor:
1. "Can you feel the sweat?" 2. "Please leave all your worries, insecurities, traumas, and negativities outside...please." 3. "If you have to puke, then puke. But keep going.'" 4. "SHOULDERS DOWN AND BACK. CHEST OUT."5. "Brace like you're about to get punched in the stomach." 6. "Feel your heart pumping! THAT'S THE GOOD … [Read more...]
Dating: A Gritty Means to a Somewhat Grittier End
To help the cause, here's a city-wide cheat guide when you're stuck having to plan the date So you've matched on an app, stomached some small talk, and one of you drops the incredibly exposing "We should get a drink sometime." The conversation survives without an immediate ghost, and then comes the, "Where do you want to go?" The spot … [Read more...]
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