Turning My Listings Into a One Woman Met Gala

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5 Beekman Street, Apt 37A Rapid fire answers for your probable questions: yes, I own the dresses; no, I'm not giving away where they're from; no, my apartment isn't big enough to store them properly so yes, it's quickly turning into the wardrobe closet for RuPaul's Drag Race; no, I haven't been invited to the MET gala yet which yes, I'm … [Read more...]

Somewhere in New York I’m Going to Kick Myself for Telling People About Because Then It Will Become Impossible to Go To

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New York's Newest Tex-Mex Star, Yellow Rose Similar to how now we look at the blithe use of asbestos all across America before 1980s with belittling judgement, I've recently been ruminating on the sustenance that fueled our growing bodies during the most crucial years of development with the same disparaging sense of awe. As we now live in … [Read more...]

Real Estate Questions I Get Asked at Inopportune Times

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So How in God's Name Does One Land an Apartment? Things from the past that have stirred up a sweepingly competitive consumer frenzy and are downright humiliating in hindsight: Tickle Me Elmo: the 1996 psychotic mania that caused human stampedes and civilian brawls in Walmarts across the United States and also gave birth to a Toys"R"Us black … [Read more...]

More Realistic Monopoly Squares

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Because Sometimes You're Always Stuck With the Thimble Go (collect $200) Due to labor shortages and inflation, we've had to downsize our "Go" experience. Seeing the value of $200 has slipped substantially since you last played in the mid-90s, we had to move this party to the Port Authority Dominos on W 40th Street seeing you're only working … [Read more...]