A Guide to Guvnah’s Island

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because there's more to life than Sheep's Meadow I've lived in a few cities in my life and I must say, from an accessibility standpoint, New York has it pretty great. In Baltimore, the public transit was harrowing; in Boston, you're dependent on cars/your life is in the mercy of others who somehow still have a license; in Chicago, neighborhoods … [Read more...]

Things You Never Knew About Octopuses

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This is my blog so I'll write about what I want to write about   Octopuses don't have it great in popular culture. Fried calamari is the sexiest appetizer on the menu at TGI Friday's. Great Squid are like the Nicolas Cages of the ocean; while fascinating to watch from afar, it's widely acknowledged that they are both unstable, … [Read more...]

Masterchef: Millennials

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Because they're unqualified for entry-level chef positions Manuscript for: a  Masterchef: Millennials Rejected titles: Three Hour Meals For Just Under $500.00; Five Drinks, Two Shots, Then Use Whatever Is In Your Fridge To Make A #Meal Without Lighting Your Apartment On Fire; Bagel Bites; How Expensive Can You Make A Piece of … [Read more...]

The Homes Below ≠ My Apartment in Chinatown

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relatable analogy Prix Fix Menu at Eleven Madison Park ≠ Lunchables 2 North Moore Street - 6 bedroom, 7 bathroom massive townhouse in TriBeCa Price: $38,000,000 What you're getting: Built in 2008, this majestic mansion affords its discerning owner a rare and privileged lifestyle across it's expansive 11,300 ft² floor plan with 65' of frontage … [Read more...]

The Mythical Six Figure Listings

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135 Garfield Place, Apt 2F Price: $499,000 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom Co-op in Park Slope Maintenance: $413 What's the deal: This charming one bedroom housed in a classic brownstone boasts details like original farmhouse style wide plank wood floors, exposed brick, high ceilings and a remarkably-low monthly maintenance cost. a 170 Norfolk … [Read more...]