God: You do know there's more constructive goals you could be chasing... Halloween Costumes I Already Have Hanging In My Closet A disgruntled bridesmaidA poorman's Carrie BradshawAn almost-sexy Brawny Paper Towel manAn androgynous CVS sales associateMy father in 1976Lady Gaga and Elton John's Love ChildA young colonial boy, eager to serve … [Read more...]

Every New Yorker's Mantra To Stay Humble … [Read more...]

To help the cause, here's a city-wide cheat guide when you're stuck having to plan the date So you've matched on an app, stomached some small talk, and one of you drops the incredibly exposing "We should get a drink sometime." The conversation survives without an immediate ghost, and then comes the, "Where do you want to go?"  The spot … [Read more...]

The Chinatown Slushee You Never Knew You Needed Anyone who knows me, has worked with me...honestly has spent over 2 minutes with me, assuredly knows that I adore my neighborhood. I'm in the Lower, Lower East Side, which is the Bermuda Triangle of New York City. There is a palpable level of controlled chaos at all times. Nothing makes *total* … [Read more...]

Where do cocktails fall in the food pyramid? A bit ago, I went on a few dates with a guy who lives in Queens. While there were many legitimate reasons to end that situation, one seemingly irrational yet very real reason was that Queens is another continent from Manhattan.  He could've lived in the back woods of Mongolia; six of one, half … [Read more...]