Titanic Conspiracy Theories: My Favorite Three Little Words ^ And just like that, we're back to the movie that seems to constantly fill up any empty void in my mind and I wonder why I have palpable anxiety For those of you who are not at the receiving end of a deprecating weekly screen time report from our judgmental friends at Apple … [Read more...]

Making Patrons of Cape Cod's Dining Scene Question, "Is He He Hired Entertainment or Is He Just Casually Out in That..." If you say you're from the South, people will assume you're inherently charming, have a natural warmth about you, and you're as gosh darn agreeable as sweet tea on a hot day. If you say you're from California, you'll … [Read more...]

Why Our Bagels Are Incredible and How We Became the Bagel Mecca ^ nothing to reinforce your rapidly declining metabolism like ordering extra cream cheese on your bagel When I was in my early 20s and an unscrupulous heathen when it came to regard for my general health, I'd end a night out with a bevy of cheese-laden gastrointestinal bombs. … [Read more...]

The Worst Year in History to Be Alive Teaser: It does not fall between 2020-2023 ^ New Yorkers out vaping while on a Starbucks run during the recent Smog-pocolypse A few weeks ago as I ascended out of the depths of the West 4th Street station, I found myself exiting onto a 6th Avenue that resembled the set of Blade Runner, a scene … [Read more...]

Dad: *doesn't want cat* Family: *gets cat anyway* Dad and the cat: Millennials do this strange thing where we post verbose and heartfelt tributes on social media deifying our parents on their respective parent celebration day even though 80% of them don't have the platform they're being paraded on. For the few who do, an alarming amount … [Read more...]