Fully Embracing the Obligations of Being My Father During the Holidays Rick, character acting at Stop & Shop, his audience being anyone who would make eye contact with him: "I'm sorry...you're going to stuff this where?" … [Read more...]

Surviving Penn Station During the Holiday Rush Is on Par With Any Triwizard Tournament Task ^ after passing on the stuffing, a nosey relative behind you showily asks why and you quietly offer that gluten doesn't sit well with you, to which you are viciously attacked by your "celiac is a myth and millennials are the root of all of the evil in … [Read more...]

Behold! A Cornucopia of Useless Yet Fascinating Stories Warning: this section is simply an amalgam of everything I've gone down a wormhole researching (yes, calling it research does feel generous) and now I'm trying to relabel it as time well spent. I spend more time than I probably should considering what the NSA agent assigned to me truly … [Read more...]

Some of the Oldest Places in New York So I Feel Better About Being 33 Years Old ^ a beautiful representation of the juxtaposition for how I felt at 28 and how I currently feel at 33 Whenever I go to write this section, I carefully mull over things I've already covered and ask myself what absolutely useless nuggets of New York history do I … [Read more...]

Revisiting His Leading Role of Being the Jolliest Pilgrim on This Side of Plymouth Rock Let this serve as compelling evidence as to why I have an acute love of bourbon, early American period costumes, and heavily prefer to enjoy both together. Follow me on instagram and get ready to hear Rick narrate the story of Thanksgiving this year: "So … [Read more...]