Say hello to your tour guide...Jesus, take the wheel. If you know me well, you know my text response time is absolutely horrible. I get a lot of things like "Who should I call if my light bulb went out", "I lost my keys", and "(many expletives) I FOUND A COCKROACH (more expletives)", to which I attempt to swallow all sarcasm before letting my … [Read more...]

Sometimes you have to cross your own line to still know you have one ^extraordinarily difficult to eat with any utensil 1 part avocado, 1 part lobster salad, unlimited amounts of pretension … [Read more...]

I now realize why I knew what cholera was at the age of 6 oh god, what have I done... I've been a bit swamped this month so since I have 9 hours to finish this newsletter, we're going to have some Blanton's, play Oregon Trail online, and reflect. a First and foremost, I made Tupac my Wagon Leader - in my alternative reality, he's still … [Read more...]

Summer Body by Avocados ^In case anyone is concerned, yes I do fear the inevitable day that I get sick of avocados Bluestone Lane's Classic Avocado Smash on Balthazar toast with heirloom cherry tomatoes, feta, sunflower sprouts, and e.v.o.o … [Read more...]

It's mimOsa, not mimosA 1. "This was their first encounter with the fact that a full stomach meant good spirits; an empty one, bickering and gloom." a. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallow, Chapter 15 b. Arriving to your brunch location at 11am only to hear there's an hour and fifteen-minute wait for a table. a 2. "X's extremities seemed to … [Read more...]