SparkNotes for the 9 circles of Holiday Hell First Circle (Limbo) You still have to sit at the children's table as a 29 year old woman, even though you are an unpredictable liability for the optimism of an 8-year-old soul who believes he or she is limitless. Upside, you will finally learn the magic of the fidget spinner, there are crayons and … [Read more...]

On Brand a ^This is what a detox looks like, right? Bluestone Lane's Avocado Smash with tahini, heirloom cherry tomatoes, feta, sunflower sprouts, a poached egg and e.v.o.o. … [Read more...]

The hungry, disheveled woman from Beauty & the Beast. Ugh, I bet they don't even call it "Halloween" anymore; they'll probably call it "Orange Day".  We collectively are raising a generation of bubble-wrapped children who dissolve into an amalgam of disoriented terror with the slightest sensation of wind. So let's revisit Halloweens from … [Read more...]

What Food Pyramid?   ^I am not worthy. L'estudio's Avocado, soft boiled egg, pumpkin seed spread, with arepas … [Read more...]

A case against the eternal damnation of chicken nuggets While no disappointment in my life will be quite as grave as the incorrect valuation of Beanie Babies, the disappearance of complimentary toys with meals starkly marks when dining went from Happy to Sad. What we lost in the sophistication of a plastic Chicken McNugget wearing a cowboy hat, … [Read more...]