"Breakfast Sommelier"^Me on Linkedin          vs.          ^Me in real lifeTitle applying for: Breakfast SommelierSalary + Benefits requested:Whatever Gordon Ramsey shows on his tax returns, we're going to need to match that401K matching; full health and dental (things you learn when you're an adult: teeth cleanings cost $200 a pop); a private … [Read more...]

27 year old Lunchables ® a ^Body by Avocados Blank Slate's Avocado Toast with Chili Honey and Smoked Salt on Country Bread … [Read more...]

Because they're unqualified for entry-level chef positions Manuscript for: a  Masterchef: Millennials Rejected titles: Three Hour Meals For Just Under $500.00; Five Drinks, Two Shots, Then Use Whatever Is In Your Fridge To Make A #Meal Without Lighting Your Apartment On Fire; Bagel Bites; How Expensive Can You Make A Piece of … [Read more...]

Dealing With Strange Noises When You're Home Alone As it's probably easy to infer, I have a slightly active imagination so as a child, I used to get really spooked by noises in our house when I was home alone. These whimsical perpetrators ranged from murderers in the woods, to aliens, to ghosts, to David Bowie from Labyrinth. Once when I was … [Read more...]