The Unintentional Biological Warfare of Stealing from the Office Fridge My second day at Douglas Elliman, someone ate 8 figs out of my container of 10 organic figs. Clearly I was more upset than my post-it led the perpetrator to believe:  I'm sorry, fridge theft is in fact a form of terrorism that was not discussed by either candidate in the … [Read more...]

His & Hers. JK, Mine & Mine. a ^ how to write this off on my taxes... The tried and true Avocado Smash at Bluestone Lane in Astor Place … [Read more...]

How Historians Will Reflect Upon Our Generation Disclaimer: the below is written under the assumption that the overwhelming majority of the female population did not, in fact, die off following the-collective-"her" stating, "I'm Dying."  a The year is 3017. While in 1st grade I was nose deep in a Berenstain Bear book learning morals from animals … [Read more...]

Me too, soft-boiled farm egg...me too. a ^There are two types of people in the world: people who love avocado toast and murderers Bodega Avocados, Regular ol' bread, Acme Smoked Fish Gravalax … [Read more...]

IDK about you but I've been on a real downhill since '97 I'm going to be such a grumpy old person. I can see it now... Back in the day...if you wanted to type "S" you had to hit "7" four times. Back in the day...you used to need 5 years of work experience to get an entry level job. Back in the day...if you wanted to go anywhere, you … [Read more...]