PSA: You're Always Judged for your Restaurant Recommendation Because a Tuesday can't be that terrible after a breakfast sandwich consisting of perfectly cooked soft, creamy cheesy scrambled eggs paired with a divine block of hash-brown bliss Whenever I'm walking around Manhattan midday on appointments or between showings, it always baffles … [Read more...]

More Mentally Stimulating Conundrums Than the Perplexing Heads-or-Tails Coin Toss Call 1. Fast & Furious 9 promos (+/- 12.5) Under (+ 120) Over (- 400) 2. Your mom's favorite commercial Kraft Foods (- 700) Microsoft (- 100) GoDaddy.com (+ 550) Carl Jr's (+ 800) 3. Your dad's favorite commercial Kraft … [Read more...]

Because self-awareness is the first step to self-improvement "She may think this is a water bottle" -my tequila bottles after the above occurs ^ "Has self control issues" -my fridge "Can't help but look down on her" -my ceiling "Has never once turned me on" -my crockpot "Always wants be on the bottom" -my weighted blanket "Is a … [Read more...]

SYLLABUS DECEMBER 2019 Instructors: The Matrons of the family Location: Your relative's home in the suburbs that's had no work done since 1992, notably including: the basement that still has the ping pong table and shag carpet memorializing the faint must of beer, driveway to see what Uncle Jerry wants to show you in his trunk, and … [Read more...]

Vegan restaurants that will make you feel shame for ever making fun of vegans Much to the chagrin of my carnivorous family, I'm sadly one of those miserable dinner dates who doesn't eat meat. The circumstances behind the shift are admittedly odd and multifaceted. It all began when I went to Germany in 2017 for the Berlin Marathon and … [Read more...]