"The murder was bloody, sure. But so is flossing your teeth." a Never turn down a listing opportunity, they say. But what if the cards hand you the most terrifying sales listing ever? a "I see we have a packed open house. Please everyone, come right in and welcome to this psychologically traumatizing home listed under market.  Don't mind my … [Read more...]

Welcome to Sammy's Roumanian, the House of CholesterolMy social life in seventh grade was pretty spectacular and I have about a dozen pieces of blue and white swag as proof of such - who doesn't love a good inflatable guitar saying "David's Bar Mitzvah rocked!"  Disregarding the insane number of plastic fedoras and amount of PTSD I have from being … [Read more...]

Likes: Paddle-boarders, Inflatable Swans and ChubbiesI missed my calling with the CIA, as I am extremely confident in my stalking skills. Unfortunately some days my powers prove to be too mighty, as I open Instagram and two hours later I'm looking at some guy's, ex girlfriend's, sister's, boyfriend's older brother's pictures from his trip to … [Read more...]

because there's more to life than Sheep's Meadow I've lived in a few cities in my life and I must say, from an accessibility standpoint, New York has it pretty great. In Baltimore, the public transit was harrowing; in Boston, you're dependent on cars/your life is in the mercy of others who somehow still have a license; in Chicago, neighborhoods … [Read more...]

This is my blog so I'll write about what I want to write about   Octopuses don't have it great in popular culture. Fried calamari is the sexiest appetizer on the menu at TGI Friday's. Great Squid are like the Nicolas Cages of the ocean; while fascinating to watch from afar, it's widely acknowledged that they are both unstable, … [Read more...]