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Your Quest: Go on a Date During a Global Pandemic

September 4, 2020 By LizLawton

Please Raise Your Hand If You Would Just Prefer an Arranged Marriage at This Point Congratulations! Some guy on Bumble swept you off your feet with the ever-romantic and grandiose display of chivalry, "We should hang out sometime."Do you accept this quest? A. You respond: "Sounds great, let me know when and where!" B. You respond: "I … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Meals

Please Take This Short Survey About Your Amazon Prime Grocery Delivery Experience

May 7, 2020 By LizLawton

No, Our Substituting Your Selection of Totino's Pizza Rolls for Cauliflower Rice Wasn't Malicious but Yes, We're Just a Bit Concerned ^ me, staring at my screen while refreshing my browser, waiting for a delivery window to pop up For your privacy and protection, please confirm your identity by answering the following security … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Meals

Where’s it from: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone or COVID-19 Quarantine?

April 3, 2020 By LizLawton

Raise your hand if you feel like you've been locked in a cupboard under the stairs for the last 3 weeks. 1. "Inside, just visible, was a boy, fast asleep." a. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Chapter 1 b. City pigeons looking into most peoples' windows on weekdays at 10am right now 2. "The trouble is, humans do have a knack … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Meals

Since We’re Forced to Test Our Survival Skills…

April 3, 2020 By LizLawton

An Easy, Healthy, Affordable, Delicious, Re-heatable, and also Tastes-Good-Cold Recipe If you were not aware, the thing that millennials will be most famously remembered for will be the ability to turn any recession-causing, massive hysteria-creating, economy-crippling virus into an endless source of fatalistic humor in the form of memes. … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Meals

Dante’s Inferno; Wedding Season Edition

March 4, 2020 By LizLawton

The Nine Circles of Hell ^me, at every wedding I've been to, 5 cocktails in, giving unprompted astrology advice to my entire table while we wait for entrees to be served First Circle (Limbo) Beyond the fact that you don't know a single other wedding guest and you didn't get a plus one, you realize you're at the clear reject table, … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Meals

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