Mel's Bakery on the Lower East Side Let me just say, I am absolutely furious that I wasted my peak metabolism years on the wrong foods. Why did no one tell me to truly enjoy washed-rind cheeses while my stomach could still process dairy? How was there no public service announcement that you should get your fill of caramel and peanut brittle … [Read more...]
Somewhere New in New York I’m Going to Kick Myself for Telling People About Because Then It Will Become Impossible to Go to
7 Grain Army in Williamsburg I'll just come out and say it - muffins are the most disrespected food out there. They're constantly jeered at as ugly cupcakes, ordering one often evokes a judgmental side eye from health conscious folk who view the poor pastry as a shameless excuse to eat more cake, and don't even get me started about the smear … [Read more...]
If the Chopped Judges Color Commentated the Typical Millennial’s Hungover Sunday Breakfast
"So presentation wise, the dish appears to be entirely...eggs." ^ So my main dish this morning is a deconstructed..." HOST TED ALLEN: Happy Sunday and welcome to a special episode of Chopped. Today's chef is a 32-year old woman who lives alone in New York. Starting from when she emerges from her room on this … [Read more...]
Carbs Are King Again
Since Everyone Got the "I Make My Own Bread" Phase Out of Their System, Artisan Pastries Are Back in a Big Way Ah, the pièce de résistance of my newsletters - the slutty boudoir photo of a caloric black hole, featuring a raunchy cascade of high quality cheese, thrusting itself out from a crevice in a dramatic flair of sex appeal. [stopping … [Read more...]
So You Don’t Think You Can Drink Scotch?
The Cocktail That Will Turn Any Lackadaisical Whiskey Drinker Into a Fervent Scotch Sipper Of all the liquors to choose from, none is quite as daunting as scotch. Casually having a bottle of Lavagulin lying around is a level of ego that few can whole-heartedly amount to. Ordering it neat at a bar is one of the most powerful silent showcases of … [Read more...]
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